The Film Critic pants are out of the closet, and I have them on! It's time for some capsule (short) movie reviews on three New Releases for the week of Friday, October 11, 2024.
1) TERRIFIER 3
The third installment of this inexplicably popular gore/horror series created by the talent-free Damien Leone is more of the same. And by "same," I mean "shit."
The irritatingly stupid Art The Clown is back, and this time, the twist is that he's wearing a Santa costume while silently murdering everything in his boring, derivative path.
Here's the deal, these movies suck. They absolutely suck. There is nothing redeemable or entertaining about any of them. Except for the piles of blood, gore, and latex makeup thrown across the screen in spectacularly unimaginative fashion, which passes for entertainment, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, happens in these stupid-ass movies.
This third chapter is more of the exact repetitive bunkum: non-existent story, horrific acting (my God, do these actors stink!), terrible writing, laughable technical work, and direction that is so dull and inept that the whole incompetent enterprise barely even qualifies as a frigging movie.
I hate this movie as I've hated every other worthless "Terrifier" movie. It's not because I'm offended by the content or think it's too gory, disturbing, or incursive. I couldn't care less that children get murdered in this thing, or that deaths go on for several minutes, or that every type of taboo is attempting to be broken. Nope, none of that bothers me or upsets me.
It's actually the opposite of upsetting. These movies are excruciatingly dull, even when the brutal and drawn-out kills are happening. During the mayhem, I spend more time yawning than being frightened, shocked, or repulsed, which is actually more offensive than feeling assaulted.
Look, I've been a horror fan my whole life, and I've seen everything you can possibly see within the genre, and I know my shit... trust me, I'm a horror expert. If you think you know more about horror than I do, you don't, and the meatheads responsible for this dreck certainly don't. This series is junk. Complete fucking junk.
I don't have room here, but I could list at least 75 movies with more scares, better gore, more imaginative kills, and better use of practical disgusting makeup effects than seen in this movie. I could also list about 100 films that have a better villain/killer and more interesting main characters, not to mention little things like, you know, a story and structure of any kind.
My film critic friend and colleague Steve Prokopy correctly compares these "Terrifier" movies to porno flicks, meaning that back in the day, you would fast-forward through the "plot" and "acting" of a porn video to get to the good stuff: the screwing. Well, in the case of these killer-clown movies, the screwing scenes are actually murder scenes, and they are absolute libido killers.
The thing that I find the most depressing is that a lot of fans of the genre love this crap, and that baffles me. You horror fans should know better, seriously, you should. The fact that scary movie lovers are falling for this garbage makes me very sad. Come on, Tribe, you're all better than this, and Leone and his talentless crew know it.
If you like these movies, good for you, have fun. I'll just be over here feeling very embarrassed for you. - Zero Stars
Written by Gabriel Sherman and directed by Ali Abbasi, this unauthorized drama tells the story of how a young Donald Trump (Sebastian Stan) started his real-estate business in New York during the 1970s and 80s while trying to break free of the controlling shadow of his father (Martin Donovan). He receives teaching and help from infamous lawyer Roy Cohn (Jeremy Strong) and the rest, as they say, is history.
This is a difficult film to review because of what is happening in the real world right now. As I write this, the subject of this film is currently threatening democracy and humankind. It's also impossible for me to review this movie without bias because I truly despise the person whose story is being told here.
Having said that, it's also very clear that the filmmakers, cast, and crew of this project completely share my opinion of this man. They made this movie as a warning and a cautionary tale. This is a specific tale about how an insignificant and insecure man is transformed into a dangerous and contemptible monster, and on that level, it works brilliantly.
This kind of expose has been done many times before, and the script isn't anything we haven't seen before. What sets it apart is Abbasi's stylish direction, which captures that specific time and place beautifully, and the phenomenal performances by the really outstanding cast.
Stan continues to be one of my favorite actors and is a true chameleon who is unrecognizable from film to film while doing some of the most original and detailed work in movies today. He is outstanding as Trump, wisely staying away from the exaggerated mannerisms and quirks that many impersonators do and creating a complex, layered portrait of evil.
The supporting cast is also terrific. Donovan is completely unrecognizable (seriously, I had no idea it was him until the final credits) as he dives deep into his character. At the same time, Maria Bakalova shines as Trump's first wife, Ivana, and Charlie Carrick is outstanding as Trump's brother, Freddy, all terrific performances.
But the film is all but stolen by Strong, who not only looks and sounds EXACTLY like Roy Cohn, he also captures the evil, relentless nature of this despicable human being while also showcasing the brazen relentlessness that carried him through his career and life which AIDS shortened.
The scenes between Stan and Strong are a masterclass of acting, and Abbasi handles these scenes brilliantly as he builds to the moment when Trump becomes the master, and Cohn becomes the student. Any movie that makes Roy Cohn look reasonably innocent and Trump look horrifyingly guilty has some balls.
Moments early in the movie don't quite work, and some repeated scenes in which everyone around Trump insists that he'd do well in politics seem loaded with forced irony. Still, overall, this is a very entertaining and smartly made film that I enjoyed even when I was wincing at the thought of the main character having any power in the real world. - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
This documentary about singer/songwriter and record producer Pharrell Williams could be more original in content, but it is incredibly original in its execution. Williams' life story is told with LEGO bricks in crazy animation.
The film's core is a standard, ego-stroking, by-the-numbers account of a rich musician's life, but the LEGO style makes it undeniably entertaining and endlessly charming.
The director here is Oscar-winning documentarian Morgan Neville ("20 Feet From Stardom," "Won't You Be My Neighbor?"), who does a remarkable job of taking Pharrell's LEGO idea and beautifully executing it.
The film rises above its standard VH1-Behind-The-Music-like content by creating a fanciful world in which music comes to colorful life, and beats are real creatures that must be nurtured. A place where standard documentary stories about growing up and working are peppered with LEGO world escapades and hilariously whimsical asides that couldn't possibly work in live-action.
It's also hilarious to see the LEGO versions of superstars such as Gwen Stefani, Kendrick Lamar, Justin Timberlake, Jay-Z, Busta Rhymes, and, especially, Snoop Dogg do the "talking head" thing that you see in all the documents while looking like LEGOs. It's funny, funny stuff.
Not everything works (I could have done without Oprah appearing in this), and there is a bit of self-importance that seeps to the surface of Williams' persona that is sometimes annoying. Still, overall, this is a very entertaining bit of fluff, and I thoroughly recommend it.
I am curious as to how the public will receive this movie. It's not really for kids because it's very talky and loaded with music that came out 20 years ago, and it might be too silly for adults or hardcore music fans. It will be interesting to see how this does at the box office, but hey, I'm a fan. - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
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