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TWISTERS - Really Loud. Really Stupid. You Know...Exactly What You Expected.

NOTE: In this post, anytime that I compliment and/or rave about some of the huge special effects/action sequences in the new movie "Twisters," please keep in mind that all of the phenomenal scenes in this film (or in any other 2024 movie for that matter), absolutely PALE in comparison to the stuff in "Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga," and especially in "Dune Part Two." Those two films (again, especially "Dune Part Two") are the Gold Standard by which to compare any of the big spectacles out of Hollywood today. Just wanted to make it clear, that as good as some of the things in "Twisters" are, it ain't "Dune" or "Furiosa".....let's not get crazy. OK? Cleared up? Cool.


At the Press Screening, waiting for "Twisters" to begin. The excitement was palpable. Actually, I lied.....it wasn't.

"Twisters" is a really stupid movie, I mean, an unbelievably stupid movie...seriously, it's an overwhelmingly stupid movie. But that's OK, because so was "Twister" (1996), and I LOVE that movie. Now, does that mean that I LOVE "Twisters?" No. Absolutely not....but, I like it.


Let's get the BAD STUFF out of the way up front:


The Script - A recycled mess that takes elements from the 1996 classic (wild tornado chasing goofballs, obvious good guys, obvious bad guys, a side visit to mom's house, the destruction of a movie theater - it was a drive-in in the original) and combines them with new tech, old stereotypes, and laughable dialogue from a screenplay of biblical blandness.


Glen Powell - Currently vying for 'The Most Obnoxious Douchebag in Movies Today Award' (the leader in that category is obviously Ryan Reynolds), this guy is deeply, hugely irritating, and relies on fake/forced charm to get him through every movie he's in. He rips off so much from Tom Cruise (who does it all effortlessly and charmingly) that Cruise should sue Powell (his co-star in the awful "Top Gun: Maverick") for theft of personality. Powell should only work with Richard Linklater, because those are the only movies that he has been in in which he isn't entirely annoying.


Lee Isaac Chung - Let me just say that I have enjoyed this director's work in the past, particularly his Oscar winning drama "Minari," which is his strange and wonderful film about the immigrant experience in America....and it's about as far from a stupid Hollywood disaster film as you can get, which is the problem, this guy is just too smart to direct a film this dumb.


Every attempt that Chung makes to humanize the story here, or connect the characters in any emotional way is undermined by the dumbass script, and the too-busy-smiling-for-the-camera performers. And, even though he has worked on "The Mandalorian," action sequences are clearly not his strong suit, as evidenced by some of the stuff in this movie.


The Soundtrack - "Twister" had a great, fun soundtrack, and terrific use of music. This one? No. Terrible.


Roughly The First 90 Minutes - This thing takes FOREVER to get going, and even though there are a couple of fun tornado-chasing sequences early on, it's not until the final reel that any really cool shit starts happening. Before that, it's just predictable situations in which two-dimensional, stereotypical, idiotic characters spout basic dialogue, while the audience just waits for stuff to get destroyed, but when it finally does.....


Here's the GOOD STUFF:


The Last 20 Minutes - When the goofball characters stop driving around and chasing the weather, and they finally end up in one central location in El Reno, Oklahoma, the film really does kick some ass. The entire destruction of the town, and the attempt to neutralize an EF5 tornado is loud, exciting, loud, cleverly staged, loud, beautifully executed, loud, and enormously entertaining mayhem...did I mention that it was loud?


Particularly clever is the total destruction of a movie theater showing "Bride of Frankenstein" (by the way, the theater in this sequence has the greatest, strongest, most indestructible projection booth in the history of movie theaters) while the tornado literally tears out the movie screen, replacing it with real image of the oncoming twister.


It's a very funny and brilliant shot that says more about the current state of film technology than anything in "Babylon."


So, yeah, the mayhem at the end is pretty great, and overall it's a pretty entertaining piece of Hollywood Summer Nonsense, but there was NO way that this film was going to be as good as the 1996 classic.


You can't replace that cast (I mean Bill Paxton was a National Treasure, Helen Hunt rules, and as much as I love Anthony Ramos - and I really love Anthony Ramos - he is no Philip Seymour Hoffman), Jan de Bont is a much better action director than Chung is, the script (although very dumb) was much better and more self-aware, and it came out at the perfect time.

After the screening of "Twisters," I noticed that the wind had shifted, and that it suddenly got cloudy .Uh, oh!

Still, you can do worse than this really loud, really stupid movie...exactly what you expected.


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